Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
