oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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