hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I checked into jail on foursquare
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
My penis needs a shock collar
So much Jack, so little girl.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
