At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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