STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
