Will you blow on my dice?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize