I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
