Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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