This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
