He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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