I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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