Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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