Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My penis needs a shock collar
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
