oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Randomize
