The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Sacagawea was the original milf.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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