Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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