My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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