Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
