She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
