just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
