Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Randomize
