since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize