I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
