big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
