Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
