Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
