..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize