I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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