blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
