sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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