call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
