my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Let's get the cat blown out
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
