butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
