whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
