is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
