Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
