you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
