What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Someone shit on the floor
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
