dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
