I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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