My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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