I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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