he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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