2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
pop tarts are not kleenex
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
so much tequila, so little girl.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
