no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
