I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize