I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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