We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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