They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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