there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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