Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
ok first of all what the fuck
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
