Walk of Shame. In a state park.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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