please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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