Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
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I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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