I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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