Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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