i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
