yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
whose parrot is this?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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