you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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