i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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