Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My ass is underappreciated
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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