i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
