jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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