i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
